Sticks and stones

As our country celebrates the 120th anniversary of Labor Day on September 1, 2014, and while I’m sincerely grateful for the blessing of working, right now I’m also thinking of a friend who’s job isn’t such a blessing. The other day this out-of-state friend, Marie, phoned. She never gives the perfunctory "I’m-fine-how-are-you" opening phrase.  If asked how she is, she takes that as a real question and launches into the opportunity to fully answer it.

On this call, Marie had much to share. She had been growing more disenchanted at her workplace. The feeling started almost two years prior with little signs that all wasn’t well toward her among her co-workers. Sarcastic comments are made within earshot. A supervisor bumps up against her unnecessarily when trying to pass by. Anonymous demoralizing messages are left on her desk so that she’d know she was being watched and criticized.

“Marie, why would these things be happening?” I ask. “You’re a wonderful worker, you’ve been there for several years, and you enjoy what you do.”

“I refuse to play their games,” she fires back. “There’s a small clique of power-hungry girls who gravitate together during the work day, who talk among themselves whenever they can, who go to lunch together and even socialize after hours since they’re all from the same part of town. I no longer go to lunch with them because I just don’t like being around them. Last week I got a paper copy on my desk of an anonymous email message that referred to me as ‘Miss Stuck Up.’ That was the last straw.”

“Nobody should have to put up with that kind of treatment. Have you talked with your supervisor?” I ask.

“Have I ever – but it doesn’t do any good. My immediate supervisor is a young gal who recently got that job; she’s naïve and I don’t want to bring her in on this because she’s got to work with everyone in the department. Her supervisor is one of the clique members. And that person’s supervisor is a vice president who isn’t well physically and doesn’t want to or refuses to handle anything challenging. I talked with him recently and he said, ‘Now, Marie, just overlook all that. Don’t allow others to get to you.’”

Marie went on to tell me that she was recently called in to receive her annual evaluation by the clique-member supervisor. Marie’s evaluation was very high in work performance and productivity, but she was marked down for “having such high standards that she has a difficult time working with lesser-standards folks.” For that last comment, Marie’s supervisor said, “I wouldn’t have written that on your evaluation but was told I had to, so now you must go talk with HR.”

Marie dutifully went to HR and talked with two different persons there. Both reviewed her file and documents and declared that she had an excellent evaluation. Marie protested and said, “If it was such a great evaluation, why was I sent to talk with you?” HR did nothing after that and also did nothing a few days later when Marie went back with the Miss Stuck Up note to show what she has to put up with.

“You’ve got to help me, Nancy. I don’t know what to do. I’m looking out for other job opportunities with this company because I need to work a couple more years. I do like working here.”

So Marie and I chatted some more. We reviewed her options: She can’t go to her immediate supervisor because that person is new, naïve, and doesn’t have the full-picture. Marie can’t go to the next supervisor because she’s part of the problematic clique. She can’t go to the VP because he already brushed aside her concerns. She can’t go to HR because they’re aware and haven’t done anything. She could quit but needs her job for at least two more years.

So I try to offer a perspective. “Why not focus on what you can do? Focus on your work and the outstanding performance you give every day. Focus on your family as the motivation for why you keep working. Focus on the many positives around you constantly even if that’s just simple things like having a window in your cubicle, having a handful of valued co-workers who aren’t part of the clique, and getting a one hour lunch break if you arrive by 7:30 a.m. If you do that, the Miss Stuck Up folks will realize they can’t get to you and so will drop all the bullying.”

Marie expresses, “Yes, yes, yes,” the entire time I’m saying this.

Marie’s not Catholic but has a broad view of religion and knows quite a bit about theology. I ask her if she’s heard of St. Francis of Assisi. “A little,” she says. I go on, “St. Francis had one goal and that was to become the most Christ-like person who ever lived. One of his mottoes was ‘Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary, use words.’ That’s you in this situation, Marie. Just wow them with your huge heart, calm demeanor, and constant example of personal goodness.”

Marie thanked me and said, “It’s always so helpful and calming when you lay all that religion stuff on me. It gives me a different way to think about this crummy situation. Have you ever heard of anyone being punished for simply doing one’s work, staying out of trouble, and being a good person?”

Yes, as a matter of fact, I have. You can read about him in the Gospels.

[Nancy Linenkugel is a Sylvania Franciscan sister and chair of the department of Health Services Administration at Xavier University, Cincinnati, Ohio.]