Expired

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by Nancy Linenkugel

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“Did you bring anything for lunch?” she asked.

“I sure did. I brought an apple and an old, expired Cadbury egg,” replied the male voice.

My attention piqued listening to the verbal exchange by the elderly couple seated behind me in the Megabus as we trundled our way to Chicago.

“How can a Cadbury egg expire?” she scoffed. “I know Easter was a couple of months ago, but I never heard of such a thing – a Cadbury egg expiring. It’s just chocolate, isn’t it?” she asked incredulously.

“Not exactly. The Cadbury egg does have a chocolate exterior but it also has a candy yolk. That’s what has a freshness limitation.”

“Who says that’s so? I still never heard of a piece of candy expiring.”

“Maybe not, but this is a serious thing,” he responded. “You wouldn’t eat something out-of-date, now would you? It could spawn deadly germs or food poisoning or something.”

“If I’m hungry enough I’d eat anything, expiration date or no,” she stated. “I think food expiration is a lot of hooey,” she replied. “Did you ever hear of anyone croaking from eating an old green bean?”

“Well, if that green bean was in a metal can that was crusty with residue, you can be sure I’d never eat it,” the man proclaimed.

“Honey, the joke’s on you. How do you know I’ve never fixed you some green beans that came out of a can like that? What if I found a real old can that got pushed to the back of the pantry shelf? I’d never waste those contents – so I might have fixed them for you,” she calmly retorted.

“Really? You mean you’d actually do something like that? You’d serve me expired green beans?”

“No, I’m not saying for sure I did that. I’m just saying expiration dates are no big deal,” she explained. “And isn’t that what started this whole conversation – your stupid expired Cadbury egg?”

“Yeah, I think so, but that was so long ago when we started this conversation. I don’t exactly remember what I said other than telling you I brought along an expired Cadbury egg for lunch,” he said.

“Honey, you’re pulling my egg,” she joked.

“And the yolk’s on you,” he laughed.

[Sr. Nancy Linenkugel is a Sylvania Franciscan sister and chair of the department of Health Services Administration at Xavier University, Cincinnati, Ohio.]